Falling Off The Path – Untreated Alcoholism/Addiction

Over the course of my 4 years in recovery I have gone through several ‘dry’ periods.  For those who are unsure what that means, it means I lose focus on my spiritual path, I become irritable, resentful and not at all happy with my life.  I almost forget that I am a person in recovery.  My pattern is to work hard at feeling good, living in gratitude, and being happy in sobriety.  After a while I do feel good, then I start to chase material comfort.

Several months ago I was posting on this page pretty regularly, I had just finished college, had not found work yet and I had a lot of time on my hands.  My intention with this blog was to help others, if at all possible.  But eventually I did find a job, and the chase for money and stability was on.  Since I was not ‘working a program’ I was not satisfied with my low paying job that has nothing to do with my Bachelors Degree, I was unhappy in my relationship and being a mother was becoming too much for me.

So what happens when all of this ‘stuff’ becomes more important than my recovery.  I fall back into unhealthy behaviors.  I look for anything to make me feel better.  For me that means I eat for comfort, I look to other people to make me happy (codependency) and I chain smoke.  The problem with people in recovery behaving in this way… Eventually the unhappiness comes to a head.  With an alcoholic/addict, like myself, that means I can either fall back into the grips of my drug of choice or I can come to yet another surrender.  I must surrender to the fact that I am an alcoholic and I don’t have the luxury of living like ‘everyone else’.  I say that it is a luxury, but I now that I think about it ‘everyone else’ is crazy too, they just don’t know it!  Living in recovery is a luxury, I know that it is unhealthy to live in resentment, I know that chasing money, property and prestige will not create lasting happiness.  Soon after I do some work on my spiritual well-being I am back to my carefree self.  I know that I am okay, life is good.  I have many things to be grateful for.

So if you are like me and you tend to fall off the path from time to time, know that it gets better if you are willing to surrender.

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Card Of The Day

There is now a tarot card of the day on http://recoveringfrompowerlessness.com/.  Each card in the tarot has a spiritual message or lesson.  Follow the link above for today’s inspiration and click on the button on the top of the page.  Enjoy!

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Reliance on Mentors in Recovery

 

In 12 step recovery we learn that we must rely on a higher power to get over our addictions. This means that we are no longer relying on self-will. We should stop trying to control the addiction or the situation and surrender. This also means that we cannot rely on other people to make us better. A sponsor won’t make you better, the group won’t make you better, your husband/wife won’t do it either. You may be thinking “Sponsors are supposed to make us all better though, right?” And my answer to that is ‘NO’. Sometimes people can be really helpful when we are facing our addictions but, sponsors or mentors or spiritual advisers can only point us in the right direction and teach us how to have a spiritual awakening.  No one can do this for you. Another big problem you may have experience with is if you have really taken the time to get to know your mentor, you may have realized that they are not perfect. I remember when I was first getting sober I had this perfect picture of what I wanted my sponsor to be. What I came to realize is that there is no such person, nobody is perfect, and most importantly, I don’t know where the hell I got the idea that I knew what was best for me anyhow! People who are new in sobriety have no clue what they need. When I look back at how I used to be its pretty hilarious. I’m sure in a few years I’ll look back at this time in my life and think the same thing.

Until we are aware of this we will always look to other people to fix us. If we get loaded it must be our sponsors fault, or the wifes fault! The truth is it is not their fault at all, I will say that there are some people out there who are just not good at teaching people how to recover, mainly because they never lost their ego to the extent one needs to in order to be useful to others. It is not their fault because the person who is pointing the finger had put their faith in that person. The problem with relying on sponsor or friends and family for ‘support’ is that humans are fallible. No matter how well intentioned they are, at some point they will not live up to your expectations, they will fail you. So how then, can we rely on a 12 step group as a higher power? In my opinion the group is made up of fallible humans, groups fall apart and go away, drama does come up in some groups and this is the reason that the group is not a good choice as a higher power.

If you are in 12 step recovery do get a sponsor, I am not saying that sponsors aren’t helpful, in fact a sponsor will save your life if you know what they are actually for. Even if you aren’t in 12 step recovery I think it would be wise to find someone who knows what they are doing when it comes to recovery, someone who has found their way out of hell and most importantly someone who is leading a fulfilling life. Just don’t fall into the trap of thinking that once you have this person you are safe. You have to be willing to do the work or it will not work for you.

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How to Get Out of a Funk

Even pity parties have to end sometime.  Here’s an article on how to start feeling better on my home website.  http://recoveringfrompowerlessness.com/GettingOutofFunk.aspx

 

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Why Spirituality is Important in Recovery

An article that talks about what spirituality is, and why it is so important to people seeking recovery.

http://recoveringfrompowerlessness.com/Spirituality.aspx

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